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How I Learned To Deal With College

College is a not so fun place. Not everyone will admit this, maybe not everyone agrees, but for me, college is hell. As I approach my senior year, I find it sad to look back and realize that I have struggled for all these years. I hated high school and couldn't wait to get out, and now I'm in college and can't wait to get out. It's depressing, and it's even more depressing to think that I am not the only one out there that has felt this way.

Between all the drama of friends, the concern about grades, and the struggle to have fun, the years from high school through college are rough. We are expected to figure out what we are doing with our lives all while preparing for the "real world" with a so called "well-rounded education." And if that weren't enough, we try to have social lives and to deal with any and all family drama that may arise. It is a lot to thrust upon the shoulders of those who aren't fully grown, and it is no wonder so many of us struggle with anxiety disorders.

People say our generation is lazy and that we need to work harder, but I would argue the opposite. We should try to be "lazy" more because maybe we wouldn't be up all night crying over our grades at school.

It took me three years in college to realize I have been doing it wrong for all of these years. In high school, it was all about making myself look good for college, but why? I slaved for my grades and tried every activity and club to make myself look perfect to get into that dream school. Sure, I got all these wonderful schools, but I ended up selecting the school that I deemed perfect because of how close it was to home, and I hate it. My school has left me in debt and in the deepest emotional hole of my life. But everyone kept saying that I should transfer and that my misery just meant that I just didn't find the right school, but they were wrong. I would be unhappy anywhere because the concept of education and college is the same no matter the school you go to.

I went to this school and quickly fell into the same negative habits that I did when I was in high school. I spent an obscene number of hours studying and working on assignments, cried when I didn't get an A, and rarely took a break to enjoy my newfound freedom. I thought that all of these things would best prepare me for the future, but I was too naive. Everyone around me was having a good time partying, but as someone who doesn't drink or party, I was even more miserable to see others having fun when I was not. I became frustrated, and it made me feel even worse.

This past semester I finally took a much needed step back and reflected on all of this. Not only was I stressed, but I was fed up. I worked my ass off and there were students around me having fun and getting by, even getting internships and jobs even when I perceived myself to working harder than they were. It was time for me to accept my reality: my transcript and list of honor societies weren't going to hand deliver me success. My personality, experiences, and drive would.

I mean if we just stop and think for a second, some of the world's most successful people didn't graduate from college - some didn't even finish high school. So why are we so focused on looking academically perfect? Because society tells us from the minute that we enter formal education that it will mold us to properly prepare us for the world ahead, but I think we can all agree that education isn't very caring to those living in the world of the now.

Yes, we should be thankful to live in a country where everyone has access to education, but we do not need to allow this privilege keep us from enjoying our other freedoms. So I stopped caring. I would finish a difficult paper, save it, and put it aside. I would not longer spend hours perfecting something for a core class that I couldn't care less about. I would allow myself to watch Netflix, and if I wanted to watch a second episode, then dammit I would. And if I wanted to go to the mall even though I had a test in two days, then I went to the mall because that made me happy, homework did not.

Maybe these behaviors evoke a sense of laziness for some, but for me they are healthy behaviors. Instead of crying myself to sleep, I laugh. Instead of worrying, I'm care-free. It's simply healthier, and it's how I want to deal with the last remaining year I have at college. I want to end college on a better note than I did high school, and I'm determined to do so. Hopefully you are too.

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